Last weekend we were supposed to get a huge ice storm. Biggest in 10 years, they said. Churches cancelled services, schools closed, social media raged with photos of empty supermarket shelves. As a precaution, I joined the masses at the grocery store and did all the laundry just in case we lost power. Actually, that’s a lie. Porter went to the grocery store. And Target. And Home Depot.
But I really did do the laundry, so basically we’re even. (Marriage 101)
We were as prepared as we could be for the ice storm. A few hours before the dreaded storm was to begin, I said to Porter “Simply because we’re prepared it means that we’ll probably get a thin layer of ice, keep power, and the whole thing will be a big flop. If we didn’t prepare, it would be the worst ice storm in 50 years, loss of power for a week, blah blah.”
The blah, blah is a direct quote.
I’m a bit superstitious. Superstition and faith don’t really go together, but I live a life of contradictions. I trust Jesus, but I don’t pass salt hand to hand, you’re never going to see me walk under a ladder, I don’t pick up face-down pennies, I always get an extra portion of greens on New Years because who doesn’t want more money, and if the salt shaker drops I sprinkle some over my shoulder. (Why do so many superstitions involve salt?)
All evangelicals will now stop reading my post because I just confessed that I’m superstitious, but go with any of them to Target and see what happens if their total is $6.66. You’ll never see someone add a pack of gum to their ticket faster.
Back to the ice storm. The roads were salted numerous times and the whole city bunkered down for the storm. But it was a flop. We got approximately 13 icicles.
In true Millennial fashion, where the world revolves around me and my lunches comprise your Instagram feed, I told myself that it was all because I prepared. If I hadn’t prepared, well, we might still be without power. If the roads hadn’t been salted, how many inches of ice would we have gotten? It also begs the question, how much salt should I have thrown over my shoulder to prevent Trump from becoming President?